Author Archive

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Letter from Jewish Girl to Santa Reveals 'Christmas Seems Awesome'

  The following letter was found by a postal worker in a New Jersey United States Postal Service mail processing center and promptly sent into The Gabbler. The letter contained no name or return address by which to identify this “Natalie,” but nonetheless, we forwarded it along to Santa Claus, who we are hoping will

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Fattorney, NYPostal, Shubby

  Fattorney (fəˈtɜr ni): a fake attorney, specifically a Facebook user who  attempts to renegotiate the terms of their user contract by pasting legal jargon about copyrights in their status updates. These updates have no legal basis, but...

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

The Dark Knight of the Domestic World (Excerpt)

  After she was caught breaking and entering a house in Ohio with the sole intention of cleaning it, police and civilians alike were baffled by the motivations of the woman they soon came to call “The Cleaning Fairy.”...

Wednesday, November 21st, 2012

Hostess's Cease in Production Leaves CO Stoners in Mass Panic, Outrage

As Hostess continues to negotiate with its Bakers Union, production of its famous baked goods remains at a standstill, and many Americans have entered crisis mode. With its prices skyrocketing and grocery stores, markets, and corner marts...

Friday, November 16th, 2012

Guy Fieri: In Defense of Diners, Drive-ins and Donkey Sauce

  After New York Times food critic Peter Wells published a scathing yet pretty hilarious review of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant, Guy’s American Bar and Grill, this week, we at the The Gabbler thought that...

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Facebook Us, Petraenize, Sir Lance-a-lone

  Facebook Us (ˈfeɪsˌbʊk ʌs): A term that creepy couples who no longer have individual personalities use to direct new acquaintances to their newly-erected shared Facebook page. Note: This phrase is typically spoken in unison by said couple. It...

Friday, November 9th, 2012

GOP Slams Women and Minorities For Reelecting Obama

  Barack Obama was reelected as the President of the United States of America late Tuesday night, and political analysts and pundits have been avidly discussing that what really steered Obama to victory was the support of...

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

The Romney Family Hurricane Preparedness List

  As Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast on Monday, and President Obama repeatedly announced his break from campaigning to track the storm’s damages, Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney also worked tirelessly to raise money for hurricane...

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

Draft of “Apology Tour” Found in Oval Office Garbage Can

  The following advertisement was found in the recycling bin of the Oval Office early this morning. It appears that during Monday night’s debate, when Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney called President Obama’s visits to the Middle...

Page 6 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10