THE GABBLER

dictionary

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2015

SUMMER IS COMING

SUMMER IS COMING: A warning phrase whispered by women and gay men everywhere as spring flowers start to blossom and temperatures begin to rise, meaning only one thing: bikini season is drawing nigh. “This warm sun feels so lovely on my face and I love that the days are getting long– WAIT, wait just a minute,

Tuesday, April 21st, 2015

Klington

KLINGTON: The evolution of Hillary Clinton from an idealistic liberal who wanted to change the world into a hardened lifelong politician, characterized by Klingon-like attributes of ruthlessness, brutality, and aggression. “Hillary Clinton’s running for President! Finally!” “I’m...

Friday, January 23rd, 2015

Slate of the Union

SLATE OF THE UNION (sleɪt ov ðə ˈyun yən): A yearly speech given by the president of the United States in which he pretends that with the new year comes a completely clean slate and once again, anything is possible. “My fellow Americans,...

Friday, August 8th, 2014

Walredwhiteandblues

WALREDWHITEANDBLUES: (wɔlrɛdwaɪtændbluz) The new official name for Walgreens due to their patriotic pride that caused the company give up a pretty sweet tax inversion to stay headquartered in the good ole US of A. “We’re more than...

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Soaptag

SOAPTAG: (soʊp tæg) A trending hashtag related to a political or social cause that a person uses to briefly indicate that they care deeply about said cause, before quickly getting back to their daily Buzzfeed quiz. “That’s so awful about...

Friday, April 18th, 2014

Cadvoracity

CADVORACITY: /kædvɔˈræsɪti/ The state of being physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to stop eating Cadbury Creme Eggs during the days leading up to and during Easter. “I stole Cadbury Cremes from my 5-year-old niece’s Easter basket – has my...

Monday, June 24th, 2013

Twinkly

TWINKLY: (twɪŋkli) A feeling of sheer delight; pure, unadulterated happiness. Origin: The reaction of Americans in response to learning that their favorite pre-packaged sugary treats, Twinkies, will return on July 15, 2013. “You seem so happy!” “I...

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

Gayfee

GAYFEE: A heterosexual man who supports gay marriage. Origin: Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee’s decision to approve the gay marriage law on May 2, 2013. “What are your thoughts on gay marriage?” “Dude, I’m a Gayfee all the way!”