THE GABBLER

Putin

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

Where’s Putin Been: The Gabbler’s Top 10 Theories Of Varying Validity

He was wrestling lions in Kenya. Note from the Kremlin press office: No lions were injured during the course of the fights. It was all in good fun, and they shared a few beers a topless bar after. He was shot 9 times by none other than American rapper 50 Cent. Putin lived, of course.

Friday, March 7th, 2014

19th Century Behavior

The U.S. offers Russia advice on intervening in sovereign nations.

Wednesday, March 5th, 2014

Palin To Lead Task Force, Accompany Kerry On Trip To Ukraine

After the discovery that Alaska governor and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is indeed a foreign policy expert and may even possess psychic powers, the Obama administration has made a swift decision to enlist her help with...

Monday, February 10th, 2014

The Olympic Opening Ceremony That Never Was

This past Friday, the world was wowed by the Sochi Olympic Opening Ceremonies, complete with a police choir performing “Get Lucky,” a little girl reciting an alphabetized account of Russian history, and only four of five snowflakes...

Monday, September 23rd, 2013

Obama Makes Diplomatic Progress