THE GABBLER

congress

image

Friday, March 14th, 2014

The C.I.A.’s Congressional Oversight

  Lately, the Federal government has sought to assure Americans that its intelligence and spy agencies have strong congressional oversight. However, a recent incident involving the C.I.A. allegedly impeding, intimidating, and even hacking the committee responsible for holding it accountable, suggests that the C.I.A. is also overseeing Congress.

Friday, October 4th, 2013

A Tourist’s Guide to D.C. During the Shutdown

The following pamphlet, created by the D.C. Chamber of Commerce, will be given to all people traveling to D.C. through Union Station as well as through Dulles, National, and Baltimore-Washington Airports. It describes the current government shutdown...

Monday, September 30th, 2013

The Great American Conk-Out

THE GREAT AMERICAN CONK-OUT: (ðə greɪt əˈmɛrɪkən kɒŋk-aʊt) That time Congress decided to fuck Americans over by allowing the government to shut down in lieu of allowing a repeatedly defended, progressive healthcare reform to take effect. “I don’t know what’s worse, The...

Friday, September 27th, 2013

Over 8-Course Meal, Cantor Makes a Case to Cut Food Stamps

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor reportedly took four unidentified senators to dinner last night at a Washington D.C. area haute cuisine French hotspot, Marcel’s, in order to convince the senators of the need to cut food stamps....

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Congress Admits Its Own Impotency, Seeks Viagra Prescription

As the debate over the new immigration reform bill begins this week, Congress faces increased pressure to perform. In order to do so, Congress has admitted that it is going to seek a little extra help – in...

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Congress, Kafka, and the Cockroach

After Public Policy Polling released a study in which Americans rated cockroaches above Congress, it really got us at The Gabbler thinking. Sure, Congress has its share of lies, lethargy and sex scandals, but who doesn’t? And are cockroaches really...

Monday, January 7th, 2013

Why You Don't Mess with Jersey

The following was sent to the personal email account of Speaker of the House John Boehner from Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey on the night of January 1st, 2013. It deals with the Sandy Relief Bill...

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Never Going to Grow Up