The Gabbler’s house dictionary.


Friday, January 23rd, 2015

Slate of the Union

SLATE OF THE UNION (sleɪt ov ðə ˈyun yən): A yearly speech given by the president of the United States in which he pretends that with the new year comes a completely clean slate and once again, anything is possible. “My fellow Americans, it’s time again for a fresh Slate of the Union. In 2015, there will be paid sick leave,

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014


FLUBOLA: (flu boʊ lə)a deadly virus, commonly known as “the flu,” responsible for the deaths of 50,000 Americans annually. “Nancy just got diagnosed with flubola.” “WHAT?! Nancy has Ebola?!?!” “No, FLU-bola.” “Eh, give her some Gatorade, she’ll...

Friday, May 23rd, 2014


Beachriotism: The practice of honoring American’s fallen veterans by day drinking and tanning at the beach. “Dude, be more respectful, grab an ice cold Coors, and get your ass on the sand. Show some beachriatism. People died so...

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014


SOAPTAG: (soʊp tæg) A trending hashtag related to a political or social cause that a person uses to briefly indicate that they care deeply about said cause, before quickly getting back to their daily Buzzfeed quiz. “That’s so awful about...

Friday, April 18th, 2014


CADVORACITY: /kædvɔˈræsɪti/ The state of being physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to stop eating Cadbury Creme Eggs during the days leading up to and during Easter. “I stole Cadbury Cremes from my 5-year-old niece’s Easter basket – has my...

Monday, March 10th, 2014


PDST: Post Daylight’s Savings Time confusion, characterized by completely losing your sense of time. I’m suffering from a severe case of PDST. This morning I was convinced that I had left for work an hour early for at...

Friday, February 14th, 2014


SNOWBER: (snoʊ bər) The physical and psychological phenomenon that sets in when an extremely intoxicated individual suddenly discovers they’ve fallen into the cold embrace of a snowbank and with that realization, stands up sober, though mildly depressed.  “As a...

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

New Year's Revolution

New Year’s Revolution: A New Year’s resolution to completely overhaul all aspects of your sad, sad life. Usually abandoned by January 15th. This year I’m going to get in shape, find my dream job, meet my soul...

Monday, December 2nd, 2013

Amazon Attachment Disorder

Amazon Attachment Disorder: the inability to log off of Amazon out of fear of missing a good 10 minute lightning deal.  It’s a pretty serious case of Amazon Attachment Disorder. She just canceled our anniversary so she could stay at...

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