THE GABBLER

The Gabbler’s house dictionary.

WHEREUPON WEBSTER DEFINED

Wednesday, June 12th, 2013

Snowd-In

SNOWD-IN (snoʊd ɪn): to be stuck in hiding due to publicly speaking out against corruption or wrongdoing. Or, just stuck inside due to bad weather. Origin: Edward Snowden, the NSA and PRISM whistleblower, currently in hiding in Hong Kong. “Where’s Jim?” “Uh-oh. He’s probably snowd-in after telling the boss about our manager’s internet porn addiction.”

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

“Sawspeak”

SAWSPEAK: (sɔspik) A variation of the English language formed by “sawing” words in half for increased efficiency and/or cute nicknames. Origin: Either Paris Hilton or George Orwell’s 1984; we’re not entirely sure. “Obvs I’m tots going to...

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

Gayfee

GAYFEE: A heterosexual man who supports gay marriage. Origin: Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee’s decision to approve the gay marriage law on May 2, 2013. “What are your thoughts on gay marriage?” “Dude, I’m a Gayfee all the way!”

Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Rice Joke

RICE JOKE (raɪs dʒoʊk): A joke made using a homophobic slur and physical violence. “Dude, you just called me a fucking faggot and threw a basketball at my head. Not cool.” “No, man, don’t you get it? It...

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Higgs Bosom, KimRod, Stewsick

Higgs Bosom (hɪgs ˈbʊzəm): The secret, invisible force field that causes eyes to be drawn to women’s breasts. Origin: A Higgs boson that collided with Hugh Hefner millions of lightyears ago. “I know she’s your mom and it’s...

Monday, February 11th, 2013

Morning Burps, Pope-Off, Valentine’s Day Hustle

  Morning Burps (mɔr nɪŋ bɜrps): A condition of extreme belching during the morning hours, normally associated with over consumption of Pepsi’s new Mountain Dew flavored breakfast soda, Kickstart. Man, I’ve got to lay off the Kickstart. I’ve got...

Friday, February 1st, 2013

P30RDD, Subemployment, Super Bowl Diet Training

P30RDD (pi ɵɜr ti ɑr di di): Stands for Post 30 Rock Depression Disorder, a disorder characterized by depression following this week’s series finale of 30 Rock. “I just don’t even see the point of getting out...

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Do-it Date, Quentify, Suburbulosis

Do-it Date (dʊ ɪt deɪt):  The date upon which a baby is conceived through a specific, serendipitous act of sexual intercourse that results in the fertilization of an egg. Origin: Creepy paparazzi like TMZ who publically tried to...

Friday, December 28th, 2012

Cliff-Diving Enthusiast, Lame-Name, Sparbuck

  Cliff diving enthusiast: (klɪf daɪvɪŋ ɛnˈθu zi æst) A politician who believes that ultimatums are preferable to bipartisan compromise. He’d rather be impeached than even appear at a press conference with a Democrat, he’s that much of a cliff...

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