June 19th, 2012
Doting-Divorced-and-Guilty-First-World-Upper-Class-Father Problems, Gleetastic, Sand Crotch

Doting-divorced-and-guilty-white-first-world-upper-class-father problems (doʊtɪɳ dɪ’vɔrsd ǣnd gɪlti waɪt fɜrst wɜrld ʌpər klɑs fɑɵər prɒbləms): Problems related to being an overindulgent father. Especially afflicts divorced fathers. Daughter said “da-da” for the first time and smiled. Put my entire life savings into a Porsche fund for when she turns 17. Doting-divorced-and-guilty-white-first-world-upper-class-father problems. Synonym: DDAGWFWUCF problems. Related: First world problems, hot girl problems

Gleetastic (gli’tǣstɪk): Having a particular handicap or sexual preference that makes you more valuable as a friend for reasons of irony and story-telling. He’s transgender, blind, and in a wheelchair; this kid is truly gleetastic! (Origin: from the popular TV show Glee, in which several main characters are handicapped or unique in some way)

Sand crotch (sǣnd krɒtʃ): An irritation of the genitals caused by having sexual intercourse in the sand. I thought I was being so romantic, bringing her to a sunset beach for our anniversary. But now we both have sand crotch from fucking right there in the sand and it stings like a bitch.