THE GABBLER

By
Oct 23, 2014


FLUBOLA: (flu boʊ lə)a deadly virus, commonly known as “the flu,” responsible for the deaths of 50,000 Americans annually. “Nancy just got diagnosed with flubola.” “WHAT?! Nancy has Ebola?!?!”...

By
Oct 3, 2014


We’ve heard a lot about how ISIS uses social media to recruit new members and spread it’s message. And as MATTER pointed out- if ISIS was a start-up, they’d...

  • We’ve heard a lot about how ISIS uses social media to recruit new members and spread it’s message. And as MATTER pointed out- if ISIS was a start-up, they’d be working with some pretty impressive statistics. But we could never have guessed how much the start-up mindset is engrained in their culture. Recent documents acquired […]

  • The modern phenomenon of actor and living legend Bill Murray appearing in the most bizarre places – a karaoke bar in New York, a college party in St. Andrews – has become so commonplace that whole websites have popped up in order to track the movements of the 63 year-old actor. Participants at such events […]

  • An official committee, made up of six three year-olds and a precocious two year-old, were recruited by World Cup officials to teach players how to fall without becoming hysterical. The clinic was held Sunday night, following the Argentina vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina match. “No boo boo, no wah wah,” Hayden, the two-year-old explained to one […]

  • Does having an iPhone make us better people, or does it just make us even lazier and less aware of our surroundings? POINT: “I Hate My iPhone, But I’ll Die Without It” I first realized that my iPhone turned me into a terrible person when I caught myself playing Angry Birds at my sister’s wedding […]

Drawn Aside by Dan Nott ››

Whereupon Webster Defined  ››

  • FLUBOLA: (flu boʊ lə)a deadly virus, commonly known as “the flu,” responsible for the deaths of 50,000 Americans annually. “Nancy just got diagnosed with flubola.” “WHAT?! Nancy has Ebola?!?!” “No, FLU-bola.” “Eh, give her some Gatorade, she’ll be fine.”

    Flubola
  • WALREDWHITEANDBLUES: (wɔlrɛdwaɪtændbluz) The new official name for Walgreens due to their patriotic pride that caused the company give up a pretty sweet tax inversion to stay headquartered in the good ole US of A. “We’re more than Walgreens! WE ARE WALREDWHITEANDBLUES! (Take that, CVS.)”

    Walredwhiteandblues
  • Beachriotism: The practice of honoring American’s fallen veterans by day drinking and tanning at the beach. “Dude, be more respectful, grab an ice cold Coors, and get your ass on the sand. Show some beachriatism. People died so you would have a right to a good base coat.”

    Beachriotism

D.C. Dissonance ››

  • Repelling Child Refugees

    July 22nd, 2014
    Repelling Child Refugees

      Recommended Reading: Guatemalans Aren’t Just Fleeing Gangs by Saul Elbein for the New Republic The Process Congress Wants to Use For Child Migrants is a Disaster by Dara Lind for Vox Arizona Politician Mistakes Bus Full of YMCA Kids...

  • Backfire in Iraq

    June 13th, 2014
    Backfire in Iraq

    As Iraq’s corrupt and unpopular government fails to maintain control of its violently fracturing territory, Obama is finding that the catastrophic consequences of our occupation will not be so conveniently expunged by the withdrawal of our soldiers or the...

  • Lying to Our Soldiers

    June 6th, 2014
    Lying to Our Soldiers

        U.S. soldiers were guaranteed care from their government when they returned from war. Veterans found just another broken promise in a relationship based on deception.

  • Former FBI director and famed snooper J. Edgar Hoover arose from his grave at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. late yesterday morning, according to multiple eyewitnesses.  Scientists have confirmed that this is the first instance of a human...