Thursday, June 5th, 2014

J. Edgar Hoover Awakens From Dead: “I Can’t Take It Anymore, NSA!”

Former FBI director and famed snooper J. Edgar Hoover arose from his grave at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. late yesterday morning, according to multiple eyewitnesses.  Scientists have confirmed that this is the first instance of a human or other animal species coming back from the dead. Footage of Hoover pushing out of the

Friday, March 14th, 2014

The C.I.A.’s Congressional Oversight

  Lately, the Federal government has sought to assure Americans that its intelligence and spy agencies have strong congressional oversight. However, a recent incident involving the C.I.A. allegedly impeding, intimidating, and even hacking the committee responsible for...

Friday, January 24th, 2014

You Are Registered As A Participant In A Mass Disturbance

Protesters in Kiev, Ukraine recently received an ominous text message based on their proximity to the ongoing demonstrations in the center of the city. It’s easy to feel like technology is helping citizens organize and protest against the government...

Monday, October 28th, 2013

Merk Lurker

MERK LURKER: ( mɛrk lɜrkɜr) A nickname coined by President Obama back in 2010 for NSA members whose jobs are to listen in on German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s phone calls. “What’s the Merk Lurker got for me today? That spaetzle recipe she...

Friday, October 25th, 2013

What Went Wrong With

The Gabbler searches for answers on why the launch of was characterized by dysfunction and ineptitude. And as it turns out, well, it all really makes sense.

Friday, August 9th, 2013

Millions of Americans Diagnosed with Post Snowden Anxiety Disorder

An estimated eight million Americans have been diagnosed with Post Snowden Anxiety Disorder since Edward Snowden first leaked to the press the existence of the National Security Agency’s surveillance programs, which log Americans’ phone and internet activity,...

Monday, August 5th, 2013

Post-911 Policed State Googling: The Do’s and Don’ts

 After hearing about the Google search for “pressure cooker” and “backpack” that went terribly awry and resulted in an impromptu visit from the Feds, The Gabbler staff took the liberty of making a list of things that Americans should...

Monday, July 29th, 2013

We the People’s Dystopian Future

The following excerpt is from Johnny Savage’s first novel, We the People. Savage is the current Poet Laureate of the National Rifle Association and said he was inspired to write the novel after hearing about the possibility...

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Exceptional Behavior

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