THE GABBLER

As the debate over the new immigration reform bill begins this week, Congress faces increased pressure to perform. In order to do so, Congress has admitted that it is going to seek a little extra help – in the form of Viagra, a prescription drug that treats erectile dysfunction.

 In the past few months, Congress has been unable to come to a decision on key bills, such as the fiscal cliff and gun control reforms, among others. As a result, there has been much discussion as to whether or not the institution really is, in fact, impotent.

 But on Wednesday, the Speaker of the House, John Boehmer, addressed the matter head on.

 “This isn’t easy for us to admit,” said Boehmer. “But we do have a problem here in Congress, and we need to address it. And if all it takes is a little blue pill to help get the job done, we are ready for it. I can’t tell you how incredibly frustrated we’ve all been.”

 It is the hope of Congress, according to Boehmer, that Viagra will really help them “get ‘er done” with regards to settling on an immigration reform bill that is appealing to both Democrats and Republicans.

 Some medical experts, however, are concerned that Viagra alone may not suffice for Congress.

 “Viagra works as a prescription medication only if all of the necessary appendages are present, so to speak,” said Dr. David Wallace, urologist, in an exclusive interview withThe Gabbler. “I can’t be sure, but there is widespread concern over whether Congress actually has any balls to begin with.”

 Fortunately, Congress is covered by Obama’s Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, so its Viagra prescription and other medical expenses will be taken care of in full.

 

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