THE GABBLER

December 5th, 2012
Fattorney, NYPostal, Shubby

 

Fattorney (fəˈtɜr ni): a fake attorney, specifically a Facebook user who  attempts to renegotiate the terms of their user contract by pasting legal jargon about copyrights in their status updates. These updates have no legal basis, but are said to make the fattorney feel better about his or her Instagram photo copyrights. Facebook’s not going to take MY carefully arranged Instagram album of “My Dinners throughout the Year” and make money off of it. Time to go all fattorney on their asses.

NYPostal (ɛn waɪ poʊs tl): When a person or organization sinks to such a moral low point that they are deemed certifiably insane.  You just ran over a puppy to pay for an upgrade to the iPhone 5!? You have officially gone NYPostal, you sick son of a bitch.

Shubby ( ʌb i): 1. A penis that, despite being fully erect, is still wider than it is long. 2. A nickname for California U.S. District Judge William Shubb. I guess I’m stuck going to gay conversion therapy, because Magic Mike still gives me a shubby.

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