October 24th, 2012
Draft of “Apology Tour” Found in Oval Office Garbage Can


The following advertisement was found in the recycling bin of the Oval Office early this morning. It appears that during Monday night’s debate, when Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney called President Obama’s visits to the Middle East immediately following his 2008 appointment to office an “apology tour” and Obama fired back a denial of that criticism immediately, millions of Americans began requesting an apology tour of their own from both candidates for their appalling behavior in recent months. Seeing an opportunity, both camps met briefly and even put together a short advertisement in the form of a flyer, hoping that the 2012 Election Apology Tour would boost each side’s image and integrity in the polls, particularly in swing states. Indeed, an apology tour may be in order; while CNN reported that about 48 percent of Americans believe that Obama won Monday’s debate and 40 percent believe Romney to be the winner, a whopping 95 percent believe that both of them have “acted like total assholes throughout this entire election.” White it appears that the Apology Tour won’t come to fruition, the original flyer is below.





President of the United States of America, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, and Grammy Award Winner, “Best Spoken Word Album”




70th Governor of Massachusetts, Co-Founder of Bain Capital, Bishop At Large


“Now this I gotta see, folks!” - Sarah Palin

“They better be giving us free tickets.” – The 47 Percent

“Mitt’s singing voice ain’t half bad!” – Stephen Colbert

US APOLOGY TOUR 2012 features artists such as:

Buckcherry performing “Sorry”

Chicago performing “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”

 Sir Elton John performing “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word”

and Big Bird performing “The Alphabet Song”


“America, I’m here to say I’m sorry for letting you down the first time around. I didn’t appreciate you the way I should have. Come on US, just give me a second chance.” – President Barack Obama

“My dear America, it takes a real man to apologize. And I am a real man. Besides, I didn’t mean that stuff I said. You know I didn’t mean any of it.” – Former Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney

Tour Dates:

October 24, 2012New Hampshire

October 25, 2012Virginia

October 26, 2012- Ohio

October 27, 2012- Florida

October 29, 2012Wisconsin

October 30, 2012 - Iowa

October 31, 2012 - Colorado

November 1, 2012 - Nevada

(All other tours in remaining US states are subject to time constraints and electoral polls at this time.)

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