Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015
After what many Americans thought to be a surefire casting of Hilary Clinton as America’s next Wonder Woman, Elizabeth Warren is now quickly replacing Clinton as a fan favorite, especially after her crazy-sexy speech to save Planned Parenthood a few...
Tuesday, March 31st, 2015
The voters of Indiana have proposed a new law to Governor Mike Pence that seeks to give business owners the option to refuse service to politicians, on the grounds of free speech, freedom to deny service, and...
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
He was wrestling lions in Kenya. Note from the Kremlin press office: No lions were injured during the course of the fights. It was all in good fun, and they shared a few beers a topless bar...
Friday, January 23rd, 2015
SLATE OF THE UNION (sleɪt ov ðə ˈyun yən): A yearly speech given by the president of the United States in which he pretends that with the new year comes a completely clean slate and once again, anything is possible. “My fellow Americans,...
Wednesday, September 17th, 2014
This fall, high school seniors all over the country are hard-pressed to come up with a college admissions essay that isn’t cliched, tired, or just plain boring. As colleges get more competitive and diverse, suburban white kids...
Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Former FBI director and famed snooper J. Edgar Hoover arose from his grave at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. late yesterday morning, according to multiple eyewitnesses. Scientists have confirmed that this is the first instance of...