THE GABBLER

September 17th, 2014
“I Was Born With 6 Toes! (Or How My 600-Word College Admissions Essay Will Set Me Apart From the Rest of the Global Competition)”

This fall, high school seniors all over the country are hard-pressed to come up with a college admissions essay that isn’t cliched, tired, or just plain boring. As colleges get more competitive and diverse, suburban white kids have never been more aware of how boring they are on paper. But have no fear, children. We at The Gabbler understand your plight, and have brainstormed some essay ideas to set you apart. You’re welcome, as always!

-“I Went to (insert third-world country here) to Build Houses For a Week and I Learned to Feel Really Bad For Poor People”

-“Potty-Training: How I Became Self-Sufficient At Age Two”

-“How (insert high school sport here) Is a Metaphor For Perseverance”

-“How (insert high school sport here) Is a Metaphor For Hard Work”

-“How (insert high school sport here) Is a Metaphor For Work Ethic”

-“My First Cavity: How I Learned to Accept Imperfection”

-“I’m Literally Perfect, Harvard: I’ve Never Even Gotten A Cavity”

-“How (insert high school job here) Is a Metaphor For Perseverance”

-“How (insert high school job here) Is a Metaphor For Hard Work”

-“How (insert high school job here) Is a Metaphor For Work Ethic”

-“The Crazy Nut That Almost Killed Me: Growing Up With A Peanut Allergy”

-“Have I Mentioned That I’m 1/16 Mexican?”

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