All the news unfit to print.
Wednesday, May 8th, 2013
As the debate over the new immigration reform bill begins this week, Congress faces increased pressure to perform. In order to do so, Congress has admitted that it is going to seek a little extra help – in the form of Viagra, a prescription drug that treats erectile dysfunction. In the past few months, Congress has
Friday, April 12th, 2013
Today at a press conference held at his Little Silver, New Jersey home, former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice, who was recently fired after ESPN aired a video of him verbally and physically abusing players, announced that...
Thursday, April 4th, 2013
Despite its longstanding commitment to fundamentally tired and unclever attempts at humor and political satire, The Borowitz Report, a column in The New Yorker written by Andy Borowitz, contained at least one confirmed funny joke in last...
Thursday, April 4th, 2013
A bomb threat called into the San Marco Ristorante of Hauppauge, Long Island today, interrupting the baby shower of Mrs. Dina D’Angelo, was later revealed as a hoax by investigators. The threat was called into the restaurant...
Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
In a last-chance attempt at resigning with his Papal Tiara held high, Pope Benedict XVI has finally decided to speak out against the rumors of a gay scandal concerning high-ranking Roman clergy, potentially including some even working...
Monday, February 18th, 2013
A new political lobby group, with the working name Boo, You Whore!, has come forward to take credit for the Republican Senators’ filibuster of Chuck Hagel’s Secretary of Defense nomination this past Thursday. The nomination is currently...
Wednesday, January 30th, 2013
On Monday, District of Columbia police reported the emergence of a new local gang, known only on the streets as “The Gang of Eight.” While the organization’s level of danger is yet to be determined, The...
Wednesday, December 19th, 2012
In the wake of the horrific tragedy of the school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School last Friday, the National Rifle Association (NRA) was scheduled to finally release a statement on Tuesday. Unfortunately, at the press...
Friday, November 30th, 2012
As the Bush tax breaks set to expire and the $1.2 trillion sequester of automatic across-the-board cuts hedge closer in December, Congressional leaders have decided to delay all budget negotiations until a bipartisan compromise can be...
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