THE GABBLER

Documents acquired, hacked, and forged.

THE BROKEN SEAL

Monday, February 25th, 2013

And the Oscar Goes to: the Belgian Diamond Thieves!

As America spends the day discussing the winners of last night’s Academy Awards, some are already looking forward to next year’s show. In fact, the leader of the team of bandits that recently managed to steal over $50 million worth of diamonds at Brussels International Airport is already looking to turn his story into next

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

Shit Girls Say About "Girls"

Everyone’s watching Lena Dunham’s new HBO show, “Girls.” In fact, the 26-year-old triple threat (writer, director, actress) took home two Golden Globes a few weeks ago for Best Comedy Series and Best Actress in a Comedy Series....

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day, Silvio

  On the eve of Valentine’s Day, we at The Gabbler decided to send out a love letter. For The Gabbler, love is a complex emotion. It opens our hearts and it twists our insides. It challenges us. But most...

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

To Facebook, With Love

  The following essay was sent into the New York Times a few weeks ago to be considered for one of their Modern Love columns; a section devoted to submissions of contemporary love stories in our confused,...

Monday, January 21st, 2013

The Streets Are Paved with Jobs: a Journey to the U.S.

The following letter was originally sent to a Ms. María Trejo in La Tinja, Mexico, from her cousin Rosa. It appears that Rosa left her children with María in order to illegally cross the U.S./Mexico border. Her...

Monday, January 7th, 2013

Why You Don't Mess with Jersey

The following was sent to the personal email account of Speaker of the House John Boehner from Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey on the night of January 1st, 2013. It deals with the Sandy Relief Bill...

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

Oh, I'm Just a Fiscal Bill

In the hopes that a catchy tune may help the House of Representatives pass the new fiscal deal more quickly, Schoolhouse Rock!, best known for its animated musical educational films, has released a spinoff of the hit...

Monday, December 31st, 2012

A New Year, a New President

The following list was found on the desk of the Oval Office and appears to be President Obama’s personal New Year’s Resolutions. Several relate to his family and personal life, but many are related to his duties...

Monday, December 17th, 2012

A Letter to America in Response to the Sandy Hook Shootings

Dear America, We get it, you know. We know that things are rough, what with the global economy and the fiscal cliff and partisanship and all those big, important words and numbers that never quite add up....

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