THE GABBLER

Documents acquired, hacked, and forged.

THE BROKEN SEAL

Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

A 12 Days of Christmas Nightmare

This Christmas seasons, millions of adorable couples will express their love through thoughtful, romantic gifts. Unfortunately, though, some will fail miserably. As an example, The Gabbler presents to you the following email, forwarded to us by a girl who only identifies herself as Christina. “Please,” she begged us, “post this on your website. Tom’s not answering

Friday, November 15th, 2013

The Black Friday Warrior Code

We’re only two weeks away from Black Friday, a holiday that celebrates American consumerism by convincing people to ditch their family’s Thanksgiving dinners in favor of saving money on HDTVs, iPhones, and designer clothes. While there have...

Monday, November 4th, 2013

So You’re a Disillusioned Obama Supporter

The following pamphlet, written by the award-winning team that brought you “Chlamydia Is NOT a Flower,” was commissioned by a group of progressive think tanks. In an attempt to do some damage control for President Obama’s spiraling...

Thursday, October 24th, 2013

How To Not Get Raped

After writing the article “College Women, Stop Getting Drunk” in Slate last week about why women should stop drinking alcohol at parties to better avoid those darn rapists, Emily Yoffe has faced a bit of criticism. But...

Monday, October 21st, 2013

What’s Your Number?

A What’s Your Number Story of Heartbreak The following diary entry details the tragic broken engagement of a young couple, Tom and Holly. They had been madly in love until Holly dared to ask the one question...

Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Move Over, “Breaking Bad”: Anthony Hopkins Writes The Gabbler a Fan Letter, Too!

  After its series finale last week, the critically acclaimed television program “Breaking Bad” got a pretty cool fan letter – from none other than Oscar-winning actor, Sir Anthony Hopkins. But it turns out that “Breaking Bad”...

Monday, October 14th, 2013

Columbus Live Tweets First Siting of America

Today, many un-furloughed Americans find themselves with a day off of work, thanks to Columbus Day, which celebrates the 521st anniversary of Columbus’s first encounter with the Americas. On October 12, 1492, at around two in the morning,...

Friday, October 4th, 2013

A Tourist’s Guide to D.C. During the Shutdown

The following pamphlet, created by the D.C. Chamber of Commerce, will be given to all people traveling to D.C. through Union Station as well as through Dulles, National, and Baltimore-Washington Airports. It describes the current government shutdown...

Friday, September 13th, 2013

Diary Entry from George W. Bush Reveals that Obama’s Tuesday Night Speech Made Him Feel “Icky”

A new diary entry from former president George W. Bush revealed that President Obama’s speech on Tuesday rubbed him the wrong way, especially with regards to his frequent explicit imagery of dying Syrians to convey the severity...

Page 3 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8