THE GABBLER

Documents acquired, hacked, and forged.

THE BROKEN SEAL

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Letter from Jewish Girl to Santa Reveals 'Christmas Seems Awesome'

  The following letter was found by a postal worker in a New Jersey United States Postal Service mail processing center and promptly sent into The Gabbler. The letter contained no name or return address by which to identify this “Natalie,” but nonetheless, we forwarded it along to Santa Claus, who we are hoping will

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

Hey Kids! Let's Count Down to Doomsday!

The following ad was due to run in the November 2012 issue of the popular children’s magazines Highlights and Tiger Beat but was pulled from both at the last minute due to concern over its extremism. It...

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Republican Turkey Grapples with Being Pardoned by President Obama

The following autobiographical essay was sent to The Gabbler by Liberty, the turkey pardoned last year by President Obama. After receiving the pardon, Liberty was sent to live out the rest of his natural life on Mount...

Friday, November 16th, 2012

Guy Fieri: In Defense of Diners, Drive-ins and Donkey Sauce

  After New York Times food critic Peter Wells published a scathing yet pretty hilarious review of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant, Guy’s American Bar and Grill, this week, we at the The Gabbler thought that...

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

The Romney Family Hurricane Preparedness List

  As Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast on Monday, and President Obama repeatedly announced his break from campaigning to track the storm’s damages, Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney also worked tirelessly to raise money for hurricane...

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

Draft of “Apology Tour” Found in Oval Office Garbage Can

  The following advertisement was found in the recycling bin of the Oval Office early this morning. It appears that during Monday night’s debate, when Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney called President Obama’s visits to the Middle...

Friday, October 19th, 2012

Romney and Obama Get Schooled by Some Five Year Olds

The following letter was found in a pile of letters to Santa and God, but was addressed to former Governor Romney and President Obama instead. It appears to be from a class of kindergartners from Oak Bridge...

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Don’t Worry, Ryan's Got This

The following list was leaked to The Gabbler just after last night’s vice presidential debate. Our source says that the document was found amongst Paul Ryan’s debate prep materials and appears to be a list of his...

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

Romney Gets Down with Brown

  During a recent appearance on Univision’s “Meet the Candidate” Mitt Romney appeared markedly tanner than previous campaign events, prompting accusations that he had appeared in brownface in order to connect more with Latino voters. The following...

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