THE GABBLER

Documents acquired, hacked, and forged.

THE BROKEN SEAL

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

We (Heart) Bill!

Following the release of previously confidential documents from Bill Clinton’s presidential library last week that detailed efforts to make Hillary Clinton more likable during her time as First Lady, a slew of new documents from Hillary Clinton’s 2004 presidential campaign were also brought to the media’s attention. Included in these documents was a file, titled “We (Heart) Bill,”

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

Paid in Experience

Millenials, as we all know, are lazy, entitled, and self-involved. Many have started to lament the fact that they’re stuck in a seemingly permanent intern role, working 40+ hours a week for free in the hopes of...

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Honoring America’s Greatest Forgotten Presidents

Today we celebrate Presidents’ Day and honor America’s greatest leaders. But what about the not-so-great ones? The presidents who have faded into oblivion, completely forgotten by the American people? The Zachary Taylors and Martin Van Burens and...

Thursday, February 13th, 2014

Happy Anniversary, Facebook!

Facebook turned 10 last week, and aside from everyone’s annoying “Look Back” videos, we at The Gabbler wanted to post a little something special for our favorite (hyper)social(ly awkward) network. The following anniversary card was reportedly mailed...

Monday, February 10th, 2014

The Olympic Opening Ceremony That Never Was

This past Friday, the world was wowed by the Sochi Olympic Opening Ceremonies, complete with a police choir performing “Get Lucky,” a little girl reciting an alphabetized account of Russian history, and only four of five snowflakes...

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

A Gabbler Tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman: Death of a Stage Actor

This Sunday we lost the renowned film and stage actor Philip Seymour Hoffman to what appears to be a drug overdose. Originally, I wanted to write a humor piece on this great loss, hoping that I could...

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

The Bandits for Traditional Thievery Teach Us How to Steal

Lately, major department stores like Target and Neiman Marcus have been victims of massive data breaches that leave their customers vulnerable to identity theft. Identity theft is clearly a huge problem in modern life, with 15 million...

Monday, December 30th, 2013

Free Speech Violation #136: Man Fired for Calling Female Boss 'a Miserable C***'

The following news bulletin was posted on the website for the group First Amendmenters for Free Speech and Justice (FAFSJ), an organization devoted to the protection of free speech. This group was formed in response to the...

Monday, December 16th, 2013

I Thought I Understood Internet Headlines. But This List Changed Everything I Ever Believed.

Lately, Facebook newsfeeds have been blowing up with Upworthy and Viral Nova posts. These posts mainly consist of videos that inject the viewer with a nice shot of happiness or optimism that tends to wear off in...

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