THE GABBLER

Unreal interviews.

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Friday, May 31st, 2013

An Audience With The IRS

Getting an interview with the Internal Revenue Service was a lot more difficult that we at The Gabbler initially anticipated. But once we bribed them with information regarding Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann’s potential tax evasion techniques, a member of the shadowy team known as the IRS quickly agreed to meet at an undisclosed location

Monday, April 29th, 2013

The Soul of a Spreadsheet Revealed

The world runs on Microsoft Excel. From economists, to statisticians, to twentysomethings attempting to track their spending in the hopes of one day creating a reasonable budget, everyone relies on its row and column layout and helpful...

Tuesday, April 16th, 2013

What a (Single) Girl Wants

When The Gabbler contacted Sophia Richardson, a young editorial assistant at a boutique publishing house in New York City, we hoped for a juicy discussion about the love life of a single woman in an urban setting....

Monday, March 4th, 2013

The Founding Fathers and the Great Tradition of American Bickering

Since 2009, the Tea Party Movement has been harkening back to our revered Founding Fathers, holding them up as men who fought to create an evangelical Christian nation with a small central government. Meanwhile, liberals have been...

Friday, February 15th, 2013

They Melt in Our Mouths: Our Secret Cannibalism of M&Ms

One of Super Bowl Sunday’s most popular commercials this year featured Naya Rivera attempting to eat Red, the well-known spokescandy of M&Ms. So when Red himself reached out to The Gabbler asking to be interviewed, we were...

Monday, February 4th, 2013

PETA Takes on the Puppy Bowl

Yesterday, millions of Americans ordered some beer, wings, and pizza and sat down to enjoy the entertainment highlight of the year: Puppy Bowl IX. Unfortunately, not all Americans appreciate this spectacular annual event with the same passion....

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

A Heartfelt Chat with HPV

We at The Gabbler were a bit taken aback when Human Papillomavirus (HPV) 44, a low-risk strand of the virus, requested an interview to with us to “set the record straight about me and my strand.” At...

Friday, January 11th, 2013

The Royal Fetus on Pre-Life, Post-Conception, Downtown Abbey

  Everyone loves Kate Middleton, and everyone loves babies. So when The Gabbler found out that the Duchess was having a baby, we pretty much puked up baby blue and pastel pinks! How exciting! The press, as...

Friday, January 4th, 2013

Starving for Manners: An Interview with a Diet Plan

As the New Year begins, millions of Americans have resolved to lose weight, whether it’s the five pounds gained over the holidays or the fifty pounds gained in the years since college graduation. To aid them in...

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