THE GABBLER

Our politic coverage.

D.C. Dissonance

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

J. Edgar Hoover Awakens From Dead: “I Can’t Take It Anymore, NSA!”

Former FBI director and famed snooper J. Edgar Hoover arose from his grave at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. late yesterday morning, according to multiple eyewitnesses.  Scientists have confirmed that this is the first instance of a human or other animal species coming back from the dead. Footage of Hoover pushing out of the

Friday, April 11th, 2014

Buying Influence

  One of the most significant arguments contained in Supreme Court’s recent decisions on campaign finance is the narrow definition of corruption. Chief Justice John Roberts writes that the Court can only concern itself with “quid pro...

Friday, April 4th, 2014

Money Talks Louder

The Supreme Court’s recent decision in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission continues the legal trend of treating political spending as a First Amendment right, allowing a select few to have disproportionate influence in elections.  

Friday, March 14th, 2014

The C.I.A.’s Congressional Oversight

  Lately, the Federal government has sought to assure Americans that its intelligence and spy agencies have strong congressional oversight. However, a recent incident involving the C.I.A. allegedly impeding, intimidating, and even hacking the committee responsible for...

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

We (Heart) Bill!

Following the release of previously confidential documents from Bill Clinton’s presidential library last week that detailed efforts to make Hillary Clinton more likable during her time as First Lady, a slew of new documents from Hillary Clinton’s 2004 presidential campaign...

Friday, March 7th, 2014

19th Century Behavior

The U.S. offers Russia advice on intervening in sovereign nations.

Wednesday, March 5th, 2014

Palin To Lead Task Force, Accompany Kerry On Trip To Ukraine

After the discovery that Alaska governor and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is indeed a foreign policy expert and may even possess psychic powers, the Obama administration has made a swift decision to enlist her help with...

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

In Effort to Boost Approval Ratings, Congress Sends Entire U.S. Skywritten Apology

Taking a page out of actor Shia LaBeouf’s book, Congress has issued a statement of apology to the entire population of the United States in the form of a skywritten message, which read: “I AM SORRY AMERICA.”  Congress, which...

Friday, December 13th, 2013

Obama’s Abuse of Executive Power

Obama is abusing executive power, but Republicans are hung up on the wrong issues.

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