January 7th, 2014
In Effort to Boost Approval Ratings, Congress Sends Entire U.S. Skywritten Apology

Taking a page out of actor Shia LaBeouf’s book, Congress has issued a statement of apology to the entire population of the United States in the form of a skywritten message, which read: “I AM SORRY AMERICA.”

 Congress, which has a current approval rating of 13 percent among Americans, hired the skywriting service for an estimated $1,500. Whether or not it was purchased out of their own pockets or with taxpayer dollars is still unconfirmed.

 Skywriting, or writing a message in the sky, is often considered a grand or romantic gesture and is commonly used for wedding proposals or birthdays. It’s achieved by hiring a small aircraft that expels a specific type of smoke into the sky during flight so that the message remains visible for some time. 

 “We’re really just trying to address the fact that we’ve been a little unpopular lately,” said House Speaker John Boehner in a message to press on Monday. “No, this has nothing to do with 2014 being an election year. We just wanted to send you a little something special, because you deserve it, America!”

Congress reportedly meant to send the skywritten message out on Christmas Day, but the message was delayed due to partisan disagreements about the wording, capitalization, and font of the message.

Comments are closed.