Monday, October 21st, 2013
A What’s Your Number Story of Heartbreak The following diary entry details the tragic broken engagement of a young couple, Tom and Holly. They had been madly in love until Holly dared to ask the one question that no woman really wants to know the answer to: what’s your number? Dear Diary, I never
Monday, October 14th, 2013
Today, many un-furloughed Americans find themselves with a day off of work, thanks to Columbus Day, which celebrates the 521st anniversary of Columbus’s first encounter with the Americas. On October 12, 1492, at around two in the morning,...
Friday, October 11th, 2013
The following diary entry was written by the personal assistant of a Google Marketing Associate, known only as “Margaret.” A huge Google enthusiast, Margaret was ecstatic to learn about Googlism, a recent movement to treat Google as...
Friday, October 4th, 2013
The following pamphlet, created by the D.C. Chamber of Commerce, will be given to all people traveling to D.C. through Union Station as well as through Dulles, National, and Baltimore-Washington Airports. It describes the current government shutdown...
Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
Gun advocates are fast to point out that guns kill less people every year than car accidents do (although experts think that gunshot fatalities will surpass car accident fatalities by 2015), so why are we going on...
Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
For many, the start of fall means one thing: pumpkin season! Across the country, cafés are rolling out pumpkin coffees, pumpkin pastries, and even pumpkin candles. Unfortunately for some, though, love for pumpkin can become a full...
Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
When New York Magazine reported that celebrities and “media elite” are creating Twitter usernames for their babies, we couldn’t believe it. But indeed, many celebrities and other high-profile Twitter users are not only reserving spots for their...
Friday, September 6th, 2013
Pumpkin Tics (pʌmpkɪn tɪkz): An over caffeinated tic caused by the over consumption of Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Are you okay man? It looks like you have a bad case of the Pumpkin Tics.
Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
An internal memo leaked to The Gabbler and written by Scott Brown to an anonymous campaign manager revealed that the true intention behind his recent campaign stops was to get a reality show. In recent weeks, experts...
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