THE GABBLER

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Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Exceptional Behavior

Monday, December 31st, 2012

A New Year, a New President

The following list was found on the desk of the Oval Office and appears to be President Obama’s personal New Year’s Resolutions. Several relate to his family and personal life, but many are related to his duties...

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Republican Turkey Grapples with Being Pardoned by President Obama

The following autobiographical essay was sent to The Gabbler by Liberty, the turkey pardoned last year by President Obama. After receiving the pardon, Liberty was sent to live out the rest of his natural life on Mount...

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Rove Rage, Canada Adjustment Syndrome, Post-Election Man Date

Rove Rage (roʊv reɪdʒ): anger over statistical analysis that predicts a future other than the one preferred. Only known cure is proclaiming that the situation is “awkward.”  When I told my niece that her chances of marrying...

Friday, October 19th, 2012

Romney and Obama Get Schooled by Some Five Year Olds

The following letter was found in a pile of letters to Santa and God, but was addressed to former Governor Romney and President Obama instead. It appears to be from a class of kindergartners from Oak Bridge...

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

Summary of the Debate: Mitt Romney’s Policies Don’t Hold Much Weight

Monday, October 8th, 2012

Obama Releases Statement Explaining Debate Performance

In a press statement today, President Obama revealed that his lackluster performance during last week’s debate was the result of a misunderstanding between his campaign staff and himself. The President said that, in the week prior to...

Monday, September 10th, 2012

DNC: Behind Every Great Man is an Even Greater Woman (Or So They Claim)

As the political pundits and economic experts of CBS News, the Washington Post, the Daily Beast and countless other publications carefully confirmed or denied the many assertions made in last week’s Democratic National Convention, The Gabbler investigative...

Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

Donald's Canceled Trump Card

The following speech was scheduled to be given by Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention. Unfortunately, Trump’s speech was canceled as part of scheduling changes made due to the threat of Tropical Storm Isaac. In his...

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