November 7th, 2012
Rove Rage, Canada Adjustment Syndrome, Post-Election Man Date

Rove Rage (roʊv reɪdʒ): anger over statistical analysis that predicts a future other than the one preferred. Only known cure is proclaiming that the situation is “awkward.”  When I told my niece that her chances of marrying Justin Bieber were about one in a million she went into a total fit of Rove Rage and started quoting fake statistics at me. Origin: From Karl Rove’s hissy fit on Fox News after they called the election for Obama.

Canada Adjustment Syndrome (kænədə əˈdʒʌstmənt sɪndroʊm): an inability to adjust to the Canadian political culture after fleeing to the country in protest of President Obama’s victory. “I just moved to fucking Toronto and found out they already have universal healthcare and they all believe in global warming. What the hell, man?!” “Calm down, I think you’re suffering from Canada Adjustment Syndrome.”

Post-Election Man Date (poʊst ɪˈlɛkʃən mæn deɪt): An Obama/Biden tradition in which, on the day following the election, the two spend the day “just being boys.” This year’s Post-Election Man Date included the usual hour at the batting cages, but was then extended to include some ice cream and a trip to Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo.

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