Nonfiction essays and prose.


Friday, October 11th, 2013

Praise Be upon Google

The following diary entry was written by the personal assistant of a Google Marketing Associate, known only as “Margaret.” A huge Google enthusiast, Margaret was ecstatic to learn about Googlism, a recent movement to treat Google as a deity. In this diary entry, she very quickly descends from excitement over the discovery of this new

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

Love at First Bite: Confessions of a Pumpkin Addict

For many, the start of fall means one thing: pumpkin season! Across the country, cafés are rolling out pumpkin coffees, pumpkin pastries, and even pumpkin candles. Unfortunately for some, though, love for pumpkin can become a full...

Monday, August 26th, 2013

An Ode to Bermuda Shorts

For the past 16 months, The Gabbler’s Jessica Pierce has been living in Bermuda, best known for its pink-sand beaches and treacherous Triangle. On Wednesday, August 28th, she will be boarding her last Newark bound flight from...

Monday, August 19th, 2013

Please, Can We Stop?

Miley Cyrus’s music video for “We Can’t Stop” has been making headlines for showing the new, sexy, edgy side of the star. One 25- year-old, Jane Burton, had the misfortune of attending the party that inspired the...

Monday, August 5th, 2013

Post-911 Policed State Googling: The Do’s and Don’ts

 After hearing about the Google search for “pressure cooker” and “backpack” that went terribly awry and resulted in an impromptu visit from the Feds, The Gabbler staff took the liberty of making a list of things that Americans should...

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Confessions of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

The following  journal entry is an excerpt from Laurie Penny’s forthcoming memoir, Confessions of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Penny recently divulged her status as an MPDG in an article  for The New Statesmen. Since then, she’s...

Monday, July 15th, 2013

Campaign Ignore and Disdain, or, How to Win the War on the Homeless

In early January 2013, a homeless woman Suzanne Jensen was caught wandering around the supposedly impenetrable MacDill Air Force Base. Former Airman Thomas Johnson, a young Air Force recruit, was living and working on the base during...

Monday, May 13th, 2013

When I See You with Her

The following personal essay was sent anonymously to The Gabbler this past Friday. In the submission email the author, self-described as “a young, heartbroken female,” explained her many attempts to publish this piece on Thought Catalog by...

Monday, May 6th, 2013

How to Be the Only Sober One at a Party and Still Have Fun

Over two years ago, The Gabbler’s Jessica Pierce was forced to give up drinking after her sixth hangover-induced seizure. Since then she has often had the pleasure of being the only sober person at the party. What...

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