THE GABBLER

June 22nd, 2012
We'll Always Have Paris (And Twitter)

The following interview is the first of its kind. After France’s First Lady, Valérie Trierweiler, was widely criticized for a recent tweet that many believed was a jab at President Hollande’s ex-wife, Ségolène Royal, Trierweiler ultimately apologized for her harsh 115 characters. But that doesn’t mean that her bold opinions – or tweets – are going anywhere. In fact, Trierweiler agreed to conduct an interview with The Gabbler on one condition – that it must take place entirely over Twitter. In the interview, Trierweiler discusses marriage, feminism, and contributes her own ideas to the trending topic: #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithCoochie.


The Gabbler:
@valtrier Enchante, Madame Trierwieler. It’s a pleasure 2 tweet U! (Couldn’t resist.)

Valerie Trierweiler:  
@the_gabbler Ugh. Calling me Madame makes me feel like a vieille. Call me “Valérie.” : )

The Gabbler:

@valtrier So it’s “Vah-LEH-ree,” right? Sort of sounds like I’m coughing up flem? ; )

 Valeri Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler I suppose that’s 1 way 2 put it. #mildlyoffensive

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Well, Val, I  def. don’t want you to feel like a – vieille? Because I know that word, and it’s definitely negative in connotation.

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler It means “old woman,” my little  monolingual. ; )

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Knew that! So, here we are, tweetin’ it up. U’ve gotten some flack 4 UR tweets lately. R U going to say something wildly offensive?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler U mean like: @NicolasSarkozy has un petit pénis?

The Gabbler:
@valtrier#LOL @NicolasSarkozy#LOSING

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler ; )

The Gabbler:
@valtrier So, U & President Hollande R the 1st “1st Couple” in France 2 b unmarried.  #SCANDALOUS What sort of responses have U gotten?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler There will always B people stuck in the past, who believe that une femme célibataire is a threat. But I’m not going 2 marry 2 appease any1.

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler And just for clarification, “célibataire” means single, not celibate.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Noted. #thankgod If U were stuck on a desert island, what R the 5 things U’d bring?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler 1. my Molière anthology, 2. red lipstick 3. a sunhat 4. swiss chocolate 5. a large, fully stocked sailboat, complete w/ a crew.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier I think UR missing the point of the question. What about, say, bandaids?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler Well, don’t ask stupid questions. And as far as bandaids go, unless U R a 10-year-old boy w/ warts on UR  fingers, it’s far more attractive 2 simply bleed.

The Gabbler
@valtrier OK, OK. Would U say that French women don’t like American women? #behonest

Valerie Trierweiler
@the_gabbler Don’t B so sensitive!  They’re just 2 easy to make fun of. Kind of like the Duchess of York. Or Kim Jong Il.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier BTW, was the “Nigga in Paris” campaign video UR idea or what?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler All I’ll say is this: j’adore @JayZ.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier R U a feminist? Who R UR inspirations?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler  Simone de Beauvoir, Hélène Cixous, & of course, Ryan Gosling: http://bit.ly/o13za0

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Apparently #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithCoochie is trending right now. Any witty ideas?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler “Coochie and the Beast.”

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Val, U’ve made a statement around le monde by refusing to give up UR  job as une journaliste once UR husband was elected. Why has UR choice struck une corde?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler Don’t do that.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Do what?

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler Plop random French words into UR English sentences. It’s like garnishing
UR boxed  mac & cheese w/ rose petals. #AmericansAreHopeless

The Gabbler:
@valtrier  I was sort of following UR lead, Val.

Valeri Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler Do I do that a lot?

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Well…

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler  God, it sounds so pretentious and stupid when U do it.

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Now imagine it with a French accent.

Valerie Trierweiler:
@the_gabbler  Mon Dieu!

The Gabbler:
@valtrier Mawn doo, indeed.

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