The following transcript was leaked from Rush Limbaugh’s radio show. Although given an official title before being shelved, it never appeared on rushlimbaugh.com, where he usually archives full transcripts of his show for the public. The transcript covers an exchange between Limbaugh and a caller, who identifies herself as Madam Y, a high-class madam who works in the D.C. area. The two briefly discuss the recent health care mandate which would require all health insurance providers to include birth control pills as part of their coverage. The reasons why the transcript was never made public are unknown, although some claim that, following the exchange, Limbaugh received pressure from several prominent political figures to “back off the lovely Madam Y.”
DIRTY WHORE FAILS TO OUTSMART RUSH ON HEALTHCARE MANDATE
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: Hi, Madam Y in DC. Welcome to the EIB Network.
CALLER: Hi, Rush, it’s an honor to be on your show. I’m a huge fan.
RUSH: Who isn’t? What are we up to? 25 million listeners?
CALLER: I think so, Rush. Probably millions more. But listen, I’m calling to talk to you about the contraceptive mandate and the whole Fluke mix-up. Normally I love you but I was, first of all insulted by your flagrant use of the word “prostitute” as if it’s an insult and not just an amazing career choice with great opportunities for advancement, and secondly, shocked that you find women’s health to be so unimportant that you think they shouldn’t have birth control pills included in their health care coverage. I mean, being a Republican myself I’m not a huge fan of big government and mandates and all that, but I get why contraception is so important, and not just for women in my line of work. I’m a high-class Madam in DC and I worked my way up to this position from just a young, idealistic out-of-town teenager looking to make rent by selling my body, so I understand better than anyone the opportunities of an unregulated capitalist system, but health insurance coverage that meets the needs of your employees is an important part of any business. And women need birth control pills for a variety of medical conditions, not just to prevent pregnancy.
RUSH: So what we have here is a prostitute trying to tell me that I’m out of line? A woman who is paid to have sex for a living is telling me, Rush Limbaugh, beloved and revered by tens of millions of fans, both male and female, is telling me that I have no idea what I’m talking about?
CALLER: I very proudly had sex with men for money for years, Rush. Many of my past costumers are men who you’ve praised on this very show. But I don’t anymore, I’m a madam now. I run my own small business. You know about small businesses, don’t you? The supposed cornerstone of America? I have one of those. And you can demean my profession all you want but you still won’t be right about the contraception mandate.
RUSH: *Chuckles* This is maybe the most absurd thing I’ve heard since Obama claimed to be a U.S. citizen. You’re hearing it here for the first time, folks. A woman who gets down on her knees for a buck is claiming that I’m demeaning her when we all know that women who make their living on their backs demean themselves. And now she wants the taxpayers to shoulder the burden of her birth control pills. I almost would pay to keep her from breeding just so the world won’t have any more idiot whores running around trying to drain the system of every last penny. But I believe in working both for a good dollar and for a good lay (that’s right, ladies, Rush don’t pay for the lovin), so I’m gonna say: no, you pay for your own little pills, you don’t get my money just so that you can turn your tricks. Maybe one day you can become the capitalist, the cornerstone of America that you claim to be. How about that Madam Y?
CALLER: I think you’re overreacting a little bit and frankly-
RUSH: Overreacting? Overreacting? Rush Limbaugh, whose every word is literally worshipped by over 50 million listeners every day, doesn’t overreact. I tell it like it is and that’s why I’m basically the de facto head of the Republican Party and the de facto head of the United States of America, which is the de facto head of the planet earth, which is basically the de facto head of the universe until Gingrich and I take on the moon. But seriously, Madam, it sounds like you took too many blows to the head, pun intended. Maybe all that time inhaling the fumes of motel room sheets has messed with your brain or maybe you never had much of one to begin with. The point is you’re even more of a dirty, little prostitute than that crazy Fluke woman, and it’s clear that syphilis ate away what pitiful little brain you once had. But feel free to follow me on Twitter, at the handle @RushLimbaugh for your chance to win a free engraved iPad. And give me a call if you ever decide to think for two seconds before trying to get a government handout. Oh, and if you drop the whole prostitute thing, because like I said, Limbaugh don’t pay for lovin.
END TRANSCRIPT
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