April 1st, 2014
Affordable Care Act Deadline Rescheduled to Ensure Better Media Coverage

Due to the minimal news coverage of the recent Affordable Care Act enrollment deadline, officials have extended the deadline until further notice.

“Listen, we probably should have planned better,” a spokeswoman said at a poorly attended press conference today. “We knew the How I Met Your Mother series finale was the same day as the official deadline, so the competition for the media’s attention was already pretty stiff. But how could we have predicted the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines flight 370? Or that adorable new picture of Prince George? It had a dog and a baby. We stood no chance.”

Although an estimated 9.7 million previously uninsured Americans now have healthcare coverage because of the Affordable Care Act, very few people have noticed that Monday, March 31st was the deadline to enroll. The news media has given little coverage to the deadline, instead focusing on MH370, the 2016 election, and the misreported death of soccer legend Pelé.

“We were honestly a little worried when that plane went missing,” said the spokeswoman, “but we figured what was more mysterious than trying to fill out an online application written by a government bureaucracy? That has to be a little bit more difficult to figure out than the location of a giant jet liner, right?”

The Obama administration has yet to set a definitive date for the next deadline, saying that “it’s hard to tell when the next ‘French Bulldog Can’t Roll Over’ video will come out and steal [their] thunder.”

“We’re hoping for a lull after the World Cup,” the spokeswoman said, “but who knows, Hillary might start a juice cleanse or something and ruin everything all over again.”

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