This weekend Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney, along with a dozen other women, competed in the first annual Mom Triathlon held in New York City and sponsored by Mom Blog Magazine, a major mom blogging industry publication. Unlike a traditional triathlon, which involves a combination of biking, running, and swimming, the Mom Triathlon consisted of three events based on the typical tasks a mother faces on a daily basis.
Rosen and Romney entered the triathlon to clear up a feud that started between the two when Rosen claimed that Romney had “never worked a day in her life” and was therefore unable to advise her husband on women’s issues. Prior to the event Romney said of Rosen, “It’s time to give her a beat-down, stay-at-home mom style,” while Rosen said that Romney “should be prepared to work for the first time in her life if she expects to beat the Rosenater.”
The first event of the triathlon consisted of buying a week’s worth of groceries for a family of five for under $100. Both Rosen and Romney failed to complete the task, with Rosen only purchasing a gallon of milk and some Cheerios, while Romney went $400 over budget, purchasing only organic food, free-range meat, and the highest end cheeses. For the second event, the mothers had to supervise a 3-year-old in a room filled with antiques and glass decorations for an hour. Prior to their participation in this event, the toddlers were each fed three candy bars. The event was scored based on the amount of glass that was left unbroken at the end of the hour. Both Rosen and Romney fared slightly better in this event, each lasting almost 45 full minutes before the referee declared that the amount of broken glass in their rooms was unsafe for the toddler participant. Finally, the mothers had to search for an incriminating item in a teenager’s room without leaving a trail. The event was timed to determine a winner. In this task, Rosen finished in about five minutes, finding drug paraphernalia and pornography under the mattress. However, she left the mattress turned over and piles of clothes strewn throughout the room. Romney, on the other hand, proceeded very carefully, without leaving any type of trail, but finished in two hours and twenty-three minutes and was only able to uncover a Planned Parenthood brochure.
The two moms tied for last place, but each seemed to believe that she had performed better, with Romney saying, “Did you see what she did to that bedroom? She turned a hospital corner into a madhouse mattress,” while Rosen exclaimed “$500 worth of groceries?! You’ve gotta be kidding me! I haven’t seen a mom more out of touch since the last time I watched the Real Housewives on Bravo.”
Ironically, Real Housewife Teresa Giudice won first place in the Triathlon.
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