THE GABBLER

Cap’n Crunch

Friday, June 21st, 2013

Children to Sugary Cereal Mascots: “I Don’t Even Know You Anymore”

The world came crashing down for Cap’n Crunch fans earlier this week when it was discovered that he’s been lying about his “captain” status for years (Crunch has three gold bands on his shirt, meaning that he is a commander, rather than a captain, as captains have four), and it seemed like it couldn’t get