Author Archive


Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Donald Trump vs. Vasco da Gama: A Meditation on Ignorance and Hot Explorers

Upon perusing Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind recently, a Gabbler member came across the idea that the admission of ignorance (the very foundation of the scientific method!) and the subsequent search for answers is what led to modern day science, exploration, technology, and just pretty much all the great things about human intelligence that

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

Jeb Bush Is Definitely Running for President. Here’s Why.

Memorial Day 2015 is over and that means only one thing: the November 2016 presidential election is basically here. Some claim that all candidates haven’t even announced themselves and that the official primary season doesn’t begin until the...

Wednesday, April 29th, 2015

Welcoming Back the Noble Thunder Lord: Brontosaurus is Real, Bitches

Earlier this month, a study revealed that the Brontosaurus, long believed to be the same dinosaur as the Apatosaurus, was in fact its own genus. To celebrate getting back everyone’s favorite Kimmeridgian age creature, The Gabbler tracked...

Wednesday, February 18th, 2015

Following Recent Holocaust Tapestry, Urban Outfitters Set to Hire Head of Human Decency

After yet another Urban Outfitters controversy, in which they used Holocaust concentration camp uniforms as design inspiration, the company has announced plans to create a Human Decency department, and are currently looking for someone to head up...

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015

Thousands of New Yorkers Vitamin Deficient in Wake of Juno-Induced Kale Shortage

Following the panic caused by incorrect reports of the severity of Winter Storm Juno thousands of New Yorkers have been left vitamin deficient, as Whole Foods and Trader Joes are both reporting a massive shortage of kale...

Thursday, January 22nd, 2015

“You’ll Die If You’re Not Enthusiastic”: Inside the Woes of the Exclamation Point

We live in very exclamatory times. Thanks to the internet, we have a ton of outlets for our enthusiasm, most commonly expressed by the use (and overuse) of the exclamation point. But have you ever paused to...

Friday, December 5th, 2014

The Gabbler Meets #Gamergate (Finally!)

When Gamergate happened months ago, we knew we had to get on the inside and interview a gamer to get the real story. Unfortunately, all of our attempts to find a gamer on Reddit or 4chan resulted...

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

The Gabbler’s Guide to the Holiday Season

Halloween, the holiday season’s official soft launch, is over. Time to move beyond the pumpkin and sweater fueled haze of fall’s happy, early months, and face the tough reality: the 2014 holiday season is here. Soon, the...

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014


FLUBOLA: (flu boʊ lə)a deadly virus, commonly known as “the flu,” responsible for the deaths of 50,000 Americans annually. “Nancy just got diagnosed with flubola.” “WHAT?! Nancy has Ebola?!?!” “No, FLU-bola.” “Eh, give her some Gatorade, she’ll...

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