THE GABBLER » new years resolutions https://thegabbler.com Just Goosing Around Mon, 01 Feb 2016 21:40:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.1 The Gabbler’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 https://thegabbler.com/moleskine-confessions/2014/12/31/the-gabblers-new-years-resolutions-for-2015/ https://thegabbler.com/moleskine-confessions/2014/12/31/the-gabblers-new-years-resolutions-for-2015/#comments Wed, 31 Dec 2014 22:29:46 +0000 http://thegabbler.com/?p=3192 What have we learned? What can we look forward to? What mistakes are we going to make, yet again?

  1. Racism is alive and real, so let’s work on that in 2015, America.
  2. Visit Cuba! Havana Nights, baby…
  3. Apply to Mars One. This planet’s toast, anyway.
  4. Don’t be a homophobe when hosting an international event that showcases figure skating. (P.S. Johnny Weir stole the show, anyway.)
  5. Piss off North Korea and watch “The Interview.”
  6. Don’t take any flights that have anything to do with Malaysia, whatsoever.
  7. Don’t fall for ISIL’s recruitment ploys, even if they start liking your posts on Instagram.
  8. Don’t date a professional football player.
  9. Sign up for Obamacare? The site’s finally working, at least.
  10. Stop sending nudie pics – that includes Snapchat! If Katniss can get hacked, nobody’s safe.
  11. Stop having nightmares about catching Ebola and subsequently bleeding from your eyeballs.
]]> https://thegabbler.com/moleskine-confessions/2014/12/31/the-gabblers-new-years-resolutions-for-2015/feed/ 0 New Year's Revolution https://thegabbler.com/whereupon-webster-defined/2014/01/01/new-years-revolution/ https://thegabbler.com/whereupon-webster-defined/2014/01/01/new-years-revolution/#comments Wed, 01 Jan 2014 18:26:05 +0000 http://thegabbler.com/?p=2701 New Year’s Revolution: A New Year’s resolution to completely overhaul all aspects of your sad, sad life. Usually abandoned by January 15th. This year I’m going to get in shape, find my dream job, meet my soul mate, and move into an apartment with actual closet space. I’m having a New Year’s Revolution.

]]> https://thegabbler.com/whereupon-webster-defined/2014/01/01/new-years-revolution/feed/ 0