Facebook Us (ˈfeɪsˌbʊk ʌs): A term that creepy couples who no longer have individual personalities use to direct new acquaintances to their newly-erected shared Facebook page. Note: This phrase is typically spoken in unison by said couple. It was such a pleasure meeting you, Kathy! Facebook us!

Petraenize (pɛt reɪ en aɪz): To give a bullshit reason for quitting. Don’t petraenize me, Judy. Did you really accidentally poison your own mother, or are you just looking for a way out of this investment?

Sir Lance-a-lone (sɜr læns əˈloʊn): A person who is severely punished, stripped of all his or her awards and titles and ostracized from all of society to be made an example; a martyr. “Herb, I’m afraid that you’ve used the coffee-use-only milk for your morning cereal for the last time. You’re fired, and your thievery is, quite frankly, a disgrace.” “How dare you make a Sir Lance-a-lone out of me! I only did it because Angela and David do it EVERY MORNING!”