Paid in Experience

Jessica Pierce — Mon, 03 Mar 2014 21:06:44 +0000

Millenials, as we all know, are lazy, entitled, and self-involved. Many have started to lament the fact that they’re stuck in a seemingly permanent intern role, working 40+ hours a week for free in the hopes of gaining enough experience and connections to one day work for the big bucks, earning an entry level salary of up to $40,000/year. But don’t they know all the wonderful things that experience can buy? Here’s a look at some basic necessities, and how much they cost in both real dollars and in “experience dollars,” a new form of currency in which the valuable experience you gain can be used to feed and clothe you.

One pound of bananas: $0.49, or 30 minutes of fixing your boss’s Blackberry
A box of spinach: $2.99, or three hours of coffee runs
A loaf of bread: $2.50, or two hours of phone duty
One gallon of milk: $3.79, or one hour of ordering office supplies from Staples.com
One load of laundry: $1.50, or 15 minutes of drafting emails for your boss
A box of Irish Springs soap: $2.99, or two hours of stalking the building super to find out why your office is so cold
One month unlimited Metro Card: $112 , or 20 hours of “database management”
Interview outfit, cobbled together from Macy’s sale rack: $50, or one hour of cleaning up your boss’s Outlook calendar
One month prepaid cell phone: $35, or five hours of taking notes in meetings during which you are not permitted to speak
Monthly student loan repayment: $290, or two new industry contacts willing to forward along your resume
One month’s rent: $1000, or 80 hours of social media profile maintenance
Splurge birthday dinner for your boyfriend: $100, or ten hours of taking lunch orders for your superiors, one of whom is a vegetarian, two of whom are gluten-free, and one who insists that her sandwich crusts be cut off. (Good thing you still waitress on the side, or you’d surely mess this order up.)

THE GABBLER » free labor

Paid in Experience