Toe Yoga: (toʊ yoʊgə) The art of distorting your (usually hairy and gnarled) toes into “Downward Dog” and various other disturbing positions. For viewers, a similar experience to witnessing a band of writhing earthworms. “At one point, the guy sitting next to me on the bus to New York took off his shoes and socks and started doing fucking toe yoga – I thought I was going to throw up.”

Butt Fear: (bʌt fɪər) An aversion to the buttocks, particularly in sexual situations. He was all like, “Baby, come on, it’s Valentine’s Day!” But, I said: “Oh. Hell. No. You better flip me back over – you know perfectly well that I have a butt fear!”