The following is an excerpt from the personal diary of Judy Freudberg. Freudberg was a well-known writer on Sesame Street and also co-wrote the screenplays for the animated films An American Tail and The Land Before Time. She was also one of the co-creators of the “Elmo’s World” segment on Sesame Street. She passed away on June 10th, 2012, from complications due to brain cancer. Her will was found alongside her diary and requested that the diary be published so that “the whole world could finally understand [her] vision.” The working title for the diary, as expressed in her will, is Blood Red Elmo: the Dark Story of a Monster’s Creator.
November 17th, 1998
Dear Diary,
No one really understands my brilliance, my vision, my creations. My incredible insight into the complete and utter futility of existence on a planet that is slowly suffocating under the weight of human hatred and greed. It’s all right there in every movement of Elmo’s red, furry little arm. Why can’t they see that?
It’s been like this for years, too. Remember An American Tail? That was a stark portrayal of immigration issues in modern-day America, set against the backdrop of Russian Jewish mice in the 19th century. I mean, Fievel, the movie’s lead, crosses into America illegally, skips immigration and customs completely and what happens to him? He ends up conned into sweatshop labor by a cat dressed as a mouse. Can I be any clearer about the vulnerabilities of immigrant children? I mean, I originally wanted him to end up chained up in some dirty, warehouse brothel, but Spielberg wouldn’t have any of it. “It’s a children’s movie, wah, wah, wah!” Well guess what, Spielberg? The children need to know. Because today’s innocent child is tomorrow’s dirty whore.
And what about when the mice said that, in America, the streets were “paved with cheese?” What’s a better image of gold and greed turned rotten than cheese stinking in the New York summer sun? But no, everyone just thought mice loved cheese, so that’s perfect. Well you know what happens to a mouse who eats too much cheese? I don’t, but I’m guessing it begins with Type II and ends with Diabetes.
And no one at all saw the symbolism in the Jewish mice and anti-Semitic cats. I mean, they fled the cats in Russia and found them in America. That’s because racism and hatred are both everywhere, people. You can only flee from them in death. But no, everyone thought they were just so “fun” and “adorable.” Come on, people! Art Spiegelman does it and it’s “groundbreaking” and “Pulitzer Prize winning” but we do the same exact thing except for children, the world’s most intellectually vulnerable population, and it’s just “so cute” and “plagiarism.”
But fine, no one got An American Tail. Whatever, I moved on. Right to The Land Before Time. I figured if mice weren’t strong enough to send out my message, then dinosaurs were. I mean, I poured everything I had into that movie. It was my ultimate manifesto on the desiccated, dying earth and the peace that’s ultimately only found in death.
Let me break it down for you: I had infant, seemingly adorable dinosaurs stuck in a barren wasteland (hint, people: they represented your evil children in the wasteland of modern America). I orphaned them and pitted them against each other. Why? Because they hated anyone who didn’t look like them or eat the same food as them. Hmmm…sound familiar? Oh wait, it’s like all the racism and homophobia and sexism that is rampant across this country! And then, I sent them on an epic journey that ended in the loss of their innocence through the elaborately-orchestrated murder of a “Sharptooth” (that’s basically like the n-word for a T-Rex). Then they found the beautiful, peaceful, well-nurtured Great Valley, which represented, you guessed it! Death. Why do you think I reunited Littlefoot, the lead, with his grandparents? Because everyone knows that you’re greeted at The Pearly Gates by your grandparents. That’s why we have grandparents.
But, being the skeptic that I am, I figured that people wouldn’t get it. Which is why I pushed for them to cast this adorable little girl, Judith Barsi, as the voice of Ducky. She was perfect and beautiful and only ten years old. She was also emotionally and physically abused by her alcoholic father, who killed her and her mother in a murder-suicide four months before the movie was released. So she never even got to see what she helped create! I mean, the murder-suicide was a bonus, I never thought that would happen, but I figured at least the abuse would reach some tabloid and then people would get it. We’re humans! All we do is take the beautiful things in the world and destroy them until they’re almost completely unrecognizable. Just look at this poor, battered little girl. And then they would think about the movie more and just get it. But no, they just thought, “Wow that Don Bluth guy sure makes adorable children’s movies.”
I thought I finally had it this time, though. Elmo’s World. Fifteen minutes a day just for my vision. I was in charge. No Spielberg or Lucas coming in and deleting scenes for being “too graphic and frightening for children.”
Yep, yesterday was the big day! Elmo’s World premiered. I chose the topic so carefully. Dancing. About the most joyful, exuberant act there is. Nothing but pure, unchecked happiness. So I took that, right? And I had Elmo explore it all over the world. Different types of happy, happy dancing everywhere. But clearly the world is a dark, dismal, awful, worthless place despite all the dancing. Everyone knows that, sure as they know that Elmo’s white fur had been died red with the blood of his enemies. (Because, like most humans, he’s horrifically violent at his core.)
So clearly, when you see people dancing all throughout this hate-filled, disgusting, useless world what do you realize? Obviously, you realize, with sudden and horror-inducing intensity, the complete and utter futility of joy.
But, no. Everyone just said how “adorable” Elmo was while he was dancing. How adorable would it be if he were dancing over the corpses of your friends and family? Would he still be adorable then? I didn’t think so.
Love,
Judy
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