THE GABBLER

The Gabbler’s house dictionary.

WHEREUPON WEBSTER DEFINED

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Blockblister, Romney Hoodie, Rover

  Blockblister: (blɒkˈblɪstər)   A successful movie franchise  that was once good, but the studio didn’t know when to quit, so now the movie totally sucks. “They’re making a Bourne Identity Four? Without Matt Damon? That’s worse than that advertisement for ‘Now That’s What I Call Music, 47.’ God, that’ll be one hell of a blockblister.”

Tuesday, July 24th, 2012

Fagguh-FAT, YOLAINOT, Figuratively

Fagguh-FAT (fæguh fæt): a verbal crutch or phrase frequently used in public to recover from making an otherwise blatantly homophobic slur, namely “faggot.” The phrase was adopted into the English language after Tripp Palin, three-year old son of...

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Ethenticity, Guilt-fil-A, Dark Knight

Ethenticity (ɛɵɛn’tɪsɪti): the quality of being authentically ethnic, as opposed to an Americanized version of a certain ethnic group’s customs, clothing, food, or general culture. I love that restaurant because it has some real ethenticity, it’s not...

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

CHIAA, 'Mericanismo, Politiffing

CHIAA (Chiə): A new Twitter Trend started by Katie Holmes following her recent split from Tom Cruise. CHIAA is an acroynm for “Can’t Have It All, Anyway,” and was inspired by writer Anne-Marie Slaughter’s popular article titled,“Why...

Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

Doting-Divorced-and-Guilty-First-World-Upper-Class-Father Problems, Gleetastic, Sand Crotch

Doting-divorced-and-guilty-white-first-world-upper-class-father problems (doʊtɪɳ dɪ’vɔrsd ǣnd gɪlti waɪt fɜrst wɜrld ʌpər klɑs fɑɵər prɒbləms): Problems related to being an overindulgent father. Especially afflicts divorced fathers. Daughter said “da-da” for the first time and smiled. Put my entire life savings...

Thursday, June 14th, 2012

Zombish, Red Out, Grandmafucker

Zombish: (ˈzɒmb,ɪʃ) 1. The language spoken by zombies. “What do you want for breakfast, hun!?” “Blehh-meh-arghhhhh! It’s 6 a.m., Mom!” “What are you speaking, exactly? Zombish?” 2. Resembling or exhibiting qualities of a zombie. Don’t wear that...

Monday, April 9th, 2012

The Terrorists Have Won, Meatball Syndrome, Veepeedubs

The Terrorists Have Won (thə tɛrərɪsts həv wʌn): A phrase used to express the idea that any reserved behavior on the part of Americans is a sign that Islamic fundamentalists are winning a cultural war against the United...

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

Lesbrah, Toe Yoga, Butt Fear

Lesbrah: (ˈlɛz brɑ) A man (typically wearing salmon-colored pants, a popped collared shirt, and sunglasses indoors) that spends a great deal of his time following lesbian couples around bars, believing that after consuming alcohol, they will realize...

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