THE GABBLER

Author Archive

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

Romney Gets Down with Brown

  During a recent appearance on Univision’s “Meet the Candidate” Mitt Romney appeared markedly tanner than previous campaign events, prompting accusations that he had appeared in brownface in order to connect more with Latino voters. The following ad, leaked exclusively to The Gabbler, was sent to Romney in the weeks prior to the “Meet the Candidate”

Friday, September 21st, 2012

Why Occupy Failed (But Happy Anniversary, Anyway!)

This week marked the one year anniversary of the Occupy Wall Street protests, which began in New York City, and later spawning the Occupy Movement around the world. To mark the occasion, The Gabbler asked two Americans—a...

Wednesday, September 19th, 2012

Forty-seven, Coca Coûteux, MRLCFA

Forty-seven (fɔrti’sɛvən pərˈsɛnt): An extremely lazy person; specifically one who buys potato chips and cigarettes with welfare checks. “But I don’t feel like doing the dishes, Mom.” “Don’t be such a forty-seven. I made dinner, you do...

Monday, September 10th, 2012

DNC: Behind Every Great Man is an Even Greater Woman (Or So They Claim)

As the political pundits and economic experts of CBS News, the Washington Post, the Daily Beast and countless other publications carefully confirmed or denied the many assertions made in last week’s Democratic National Convention, The Gabbler investigative...

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Ask Me Anything with the Veep

The following thread appears to be Vice President Joe Biden’s attempt at a Reddit thread, in imitation of President Obama’s recent use of the Reddit Ask Me Anything forum to reach out to constituents. However, this particular...

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

Rick Santorum Disappointed by His Inability to Cure Gays at the RNC

In a recent interview with The Gabbler, once presidential hopeful Rick Santorum said that his “greatest disappointment” at last week’s Republican National Convention was being unable to successfully sign up members of the Log Cabin Republicans, a...

Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

Donald's Canceled Trump Card

The following speech was scheduled to be given by Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention. Unfortunately, Trump’s speech was canceled as part of scheduling changes made due to the threat of Tropical Storm Isaac. In his...

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012

Vatileaks 2.0 (As Translated by the Jersey Shore's Vinny)

  The Gabbler received the following letter, along with an explanatory note, via courier on Monday morning. Both were written in Italian. Luckily, friend of The Gabbler Vinny Guadagnino, of Jersey Shore fame, was able to produce...

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Media Reacts to Notorious Joe Biden Fart Gaffe

Political pundits have spent the weekend debating the potential repercussions of the Biden fart gaffe that occurred this past Friday night while Vice President Joe Biden was enjoying a romantic dinner with his wife, Dr. Jill Biden,...

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